7 Stages of Sexual Predator Grooming by Tara Jones

Kati Morton  beautifully mapped out the 7 Stages of Sexual Predator Grooming on her Self-Help Therapy YouTube Channel. Grooming is the act that Predators do to coerce and manipulate Targets of their sexuality. This can happen at any age, location, or sociology-economic level. While there is no one “type” of Predator there are similar behaviors that parents should be aware of. You might be surprised to be able to identify these behaviors in others throughout your life.

Stage 1- The Predator Identifies its Target. Just as there is no one “type” of Predator there is also no one “type” of Victim. The victims may be picked for reasons like the Predator’s preference, the availability of the Victim, or the ability to gain trust from the Victim. However, the predominating trait of the Victim is vulnerability. The predator fears their intentions being known and the ramifications of their actions coming to fruition and so will usually target people they feel they will be better able to get by with sexual aggression.

Stage 2- Win the Target’s Trust. Once through identifying their desired target, the Predator will move to win over the Victim’s trust or community members surrounding their desired Target. They might spot a vulnerability in the family to help gain access to the child. Such for example: a struggling single mom who could use a helping hand or an emotionally troubled youth who could use a shoulder to cry on. Predators are not always socially incompetent or without other sexual options. They can occupy positions of power, maintain a high level of charisma or even be very popular among the community.

Stage 3- Become Important to the Victim. A Predator will try to find a way to become indispensable to the victim or their surrounding community. Perhaps they can provide services or advice to the victims and surrounding community that make them special or especially needed by the victim. It may be part of the Predator’s agenda to gain not only trust but dependence upon them from their surrounding community to better be able to influence and gaslight a Target into submission. The more social clout and reputability that the Predator maintains the less of a chance of being exposed for their true intentions.

Stage 4- Isolating the Target. Once having made a comfortable or regular appearance in the Target’s life they will wait for the right time to get the Target one-on- one. For example: A sport coach may wait for one of his Target’s to need a ride home and readily offer it. Or explain to the parents how their target would benefit from one on one lessons. Once the target has become alienated it is easier for the Predator to implement information gathering or ways to undermine the psychology of the Target or it becomes easier to establish and increase intimacy and comfortable proxy  with their target.

Stage 5- Making the Target the Keeper of Secrets. The Predator may reveal fake or real secrets about themselves to gain trust and to learn secrets about their victim. They may also use learned information to emotionally blackmail their target into believing that it is best not to divulge too much information about their relationship to others. They may use gaslighting techniques to undermine a target’s mental health and create self-doubt. the predator might also insinuate that revealing their relationship would have severe consequences for the target such as getting a parent fired, or making sure that they feel that nobody would believe the Target’s story.

Stage 6-  Touches and/or Normalizing Nudity. A slower-moving Predator may test the reactions of their Target with small touches and they may try to increase through them. They may also try to bring the Target’s to actions and arenas where it would be normalized to be nude or partially nude. For example: Bringing a child to a swimming pool to make partial nudity or changing of clothes a common occurrence. A Predator may even use a Target to open a greater market of potential targets. For example: Bringing a Target to a ‘kid’s swim” to gain the trust of other children through the one that they are with. They may use body insecurities or curiosities about the body. Such as ,complimenting the body or suggesting how they can improve it together. The Predator may insight conversations about the body to ease the way into touch or also to arouse themselves with the subject matter.

Stage 7- Sexual Touch This sad and pathetic last stage is usually coupled with threats, shaming, or fear tactics used to control their Target into silence or future touch. Such as telling them that they would hurt them or that others would blame them for what had occurred. Continuing to control the victim in the future does not represent any singular path but instead a variety of control tactic options. One scenario may read that the victim is bullied with threats to their body or loved ones or desired opportunities. While another scenario may read that the victim is shamed into believing that it was their fault and that others would judge the victim harshly for it. The Sexual Touch Stage may only occur once or many times contingent on the parties involved and the life scenario at hand. Please be cautious of overly interested strangers trying o gain access to vulnerable people in your community. Watch for signs of these stages and communicate actively with others about their instincts and their level of comfort

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