Subtle forms of Fringe Sex Industry Recruitment

If you are reading this then you are most likely interested in Sex Trafficking, understanding more about it, and learning how to fight it. Unfortunately for me, in many ways, I don’t want to know more. The Sex Industry and its fringe traffickers find me throughout my life. It’s part of the territory of being a Sex Cult survivor. Recently, I was introduced to yet another form of more subtle trafficking. I dated this guy for a few weeks. He had pretended to be supportive to me and my son, promising a slue of pie in the sky dreams he never kept. I had explained to him the reasons I didn’t like the Sex Industry, how my upbringing forced me into uncomfortable forms of sex slavery and pornography. He claimed to understand then I caught him snapping a few photos as I was leaning out of bed. He was “just texting,” he said. The ugly truth is that so many will do exactly what you don’t want them to do as a means to blackmail you into submission in the future. This is one of the aspects that is not often talked about surviving sex trafficking. Not everyone you explain your history to will be nice some will use it as a way to control you in the future. They can use embarrassment, entrapment, and threat to keep you under their thumb

Fortunately for me the guy I dated flipped his cards quickly. He had made porn, was getting young girls into porn and had been having sex with a hooker all along. When I told him that it was too much and I was leaving he threatened my child, my reputation, to frame me for things I hadn’t done, threaten my work, my home, and my safety even going to the extent of cutting my security system lines and stalking my house. He told me all these forms of harassment would disappear if I only had sex with him that day.

This gave me an insight into the more subtle forms of cohesion, pie-in-the-sky promises, and blackmail that the industry entails. I am taking this incident to talk about some of the ways that people can be trafficked into some form of sexual coveting in everyday relationships.

Hidden Cameras!

We live in the age of technology where video cameras and photography is made easy. Between hidden cameras, you can buy online in the form of every object you can imagine (from hangers to Christmas tree ornaments) and readily accessible phone cameras your image can be caught anywhere. Radio Frequency detectors are available the low-end ones are only 15$ and are limited to their abilities, the good ones are thousands of dollars but do a much better job. Some fancy hidden cameras can both dodge being caught on your wifi network and ultraviolet detection.

Know the Law!
Depending on what state you live in there are many different rules about filming. If you are in public and it’s reasonable to be heard or seen in most states you have no protection so if you aren’t willing to risk getting legally videotaped snuggling up with your lovers don’t do it in public. Most states acknowledge that filming in your private residence without being told is illegal however, that won’t necessarily stop a person from doing it anyway whether it is in their home or yours. Revenge porn is a concept that has popped up lately in the news some states, like Texas, are taking it seriously rewarding such bad behavior with lengthy fines estimated at around a quarter million and jail time of over a year, other states and countries are more lenient. The effects of these illegal recordings can be absolutely devastating even if the nudity or sex act that was revealed wasn’t heinous or even sexual. For example, we have unfortunately seen many cases of suicide, especially for teen girls after being recorded with a hidden camera in the shower. Body shaming, reputational damage, and insecurity can take hold when one worries about the tape getting out to their parents, friends, or even the authorities. One worries about the effects one their reputation having been made to look like a voluntary sex worker, this can lead to a loss of job, marriage, or even a risk of losing your children.

Look for the signs: Look to see if your new lover has a history of making porn. Listen to the questions that they ask you if they are trying to accumulate any knowledge of nude pictures you may have taken. If they are trying to seduce you into taking a few harmless photos or videos. These can all be red flags of Industry Involvement.

Do a background check online. For around 20$ and sometimes for free you can run background checks with Pacer, CheckMate, and access publically viewable arrest records. You never know what you might find!

Watch the content you create: Make sure that any picture you send is one that you acknowledge could be seen by others. There have been cases of suicide after voluntary sexy photos were sent to an ex’s parents. Unfortunately, no matter how much you believe your love will last, these pictures can end up haunting your future. Probably best not to include anything too revealing or with a face or any obvious identifier like a tattoo in the photo.

Watch your money! One of the main ways that abusive partners and covert Sex Traffickers parallel are in the ways that they affect your money. While countless money can easily be promised by staying in the relationship or by making adult content most likely you are about to get ripped off in some way or another. For example A lot of times these one-time adult content sessions may lead to an expectation for continuous footage, even perhaps with a clause of blackmail for not complying. This content may also become an advertisement to others who may actually want to physically be satisfied in person against your previous intentions. And sometimes this money that is to be given to you out of the “goodness” of your abuser’s heart, in the future, is just a means to keep you complacent and a set up to get yourself used. One technique these abusers use is to get you to spend your money maybe with future promises of being paid back or making even more. Be careful! As nice as it is to have your partner’s back overspending might create a situation that is difficult to leave in an instant.

Living together: One complicated aspect of my situation was the fact that within the first week of dating he was trying to move in. Horror story after horror story about his living situation prayed on my sympathies allowing him to come into my house. After he moved in I was catching more or more glimpses into his world of the fringe sex industry. Living with you can be a means to monitoring, coercing you are robbing you of your independence. How much harder is it to get away from someone who you see every day. They know that you will become attached to the house, your lifestyle that you two have created, or the relationship. Living together makes it that much harder to escape and if they suspect that you are going to put in a restraining order or some legal action it can become dangerous to stay.

Manipulation: If you are trapped in an abusive relationship whether from a fringe predator or one directly working to get you involved in the industry control will be clear. If your partner is limiting who you are allowed to talk to if they shun those who are concerned with your wellbeing or how you might not be in an ideal situation be aware. Ultimatums like “if you leave me I might kill myself” may seem romantic but usually are only selfish ways to control you. Perpetual tragedy might be used to play into your sensibilities. Is the person always in need of you better than never offering emotional support for your troubles? It can become a means of distraction and manipulation at times to make sure that your needs or complaints are never heard. Shaming you for asking for better treatment. The person might guilt you for “all that they have done for you” anytime you express discomfort. Threats they might threaten you.

Be careful what you Text!
I know that it can be tempting to fire back a quick jab at someone who you have recently escaped but do know that some of these people might be building up a legal case using your very words against you. You might feel totally justified after someone has, for example, threatened your child to tell that person that you mean them harm, mean it, don’t say it. Aggressors can use gaslighting and quick reversal to make it look like your defense is an offense and that they are in fact the victim. Do not make threats publically nor in writing, both are admissible to court.

Splitting the Assets: I know it’s very difficult to let go of belongings that go lost in the intertwining of homes and relationships so keep a record of any purchases you made what is considered a gift or part of the households cumulative belongings might be hard to convince a judge that it was originally yours. Be aware of ways that you might be being trapped by the necessities of stuff, take photos when you can, keep purchase records, and try to get them to admit that your things are yours. Otherwise, know when to hold them know when to fold them. If your belongings are keeping you tied to the person against your safety in some cases it might just be easier to let it go. Otherwise hit up your local police and see if they can’t escort you to the property. Know that the police can not enter without a warrant, and they do not necessarily get an okay from the belonging holder just because they ask. They will however ask for any proof of your belongings if they admit what they have to the police that can be used as a record of your belongings.

Reach out! Many times abusive manipulators want to keep you isolated, watched, and under their control. Even if you need to be sneaky start making the phone calls and writing the emails you need to get help from those who care. If he checks your email you can start a new one. If he gets control of your phone borrow a neighbors phone or get a calling card.

Restraining order: A temporary restraining order can be issued in most states immediately and without direct proof. This hold will only last for a series of weeks and then a permanent need to be laid down. This will require multiple occasions that the person was stalking, threatening, or destroying property so gather whatever evidence you have. Testimonials from others are helpful but will not necessarily be taken as fact. Stick to the facts to make your strongest case.

Prepare to Weather the Storm

Part of escaping both the abuses of the Industry and bad relationships is that there is a period of “Weathering the storm”. For most of us, this is just a brief stint of the time remedied over the long term. For others, it is a reoccurring nightmare that follows you for years. There is no one set outcome. I’d love to tell you it all gets better in time. Some people are murdered in that process, so I can not. The best things you can do is prepare a legal case even if your abuser has information over you and you are scared it “better to be a warrior in a garden than a Gardner in a war.” It’s understandable that calling the police can be a hard thing to do your aggressor might turn around and attack you for it but wherever you can report their crimes it will give you a stronger case in the long run and usually whoever builds the case first is accepted more at the victim and not the victimized. You never know when you can use the evidence you have for something, or who will be able to help you with the case that you built so prepare for the battle ahead of time. If you are still in contact, manipulate responses that you catch on video, coerce certain information into writing, play nice until you don’t have to anymore.

Think in the long term. There are certain situations where death might be on the table in those situations the best thing to do is run, Don’t take any risks. But what about the times where running is the risk? In the situations where you aren’t ready to run start your case, start gathering your evidence, start saving your money, expand your social network, educate yourself, reach out to other survivors and their organizations, join threads and reach out to online conversations about your issues, seek a counselor or a legal aid. This is your war, only you know what hell it is, now here’s to you and your liberation, chin up.